Drink Like a Virgo: 6 Beverages for Getting Your Sh*t Together This Fall
I remarked about treading carefully during Cancer season so that no Cancer’s easily wounded feelings would get hurt. Now I tread carefully during Virgo season, because I don’t want my feelings to get hurt. If any sign is going to take umbrage with my choices, and come at me with a “well, actually…” it’s Virgo. I have been warned, though, by me. I’ve put myself in a Virgo state of mind and done my homework here, in hopes of actually appealing to the celestial perfectionists.
Virgos are among the most intelligent of us, and the most organized, with the keenest drive to make themselves useful. They are the walking encyclopedias of the Zodiac, and the least likely to delegate. If you want something done right, you need to do it with Virgo’s hyper coordinated sensibilities. If you are a Virgo, you need to do it yourself.
All that cerebrality and detail management makes Virgos among the top signs in need of a drink, though. Fortunately, when you drink with or like a Virgo you know you’ll be drinking quality, AND you’ll probably get an earful of context about what you’re drinking. With that, feel free to drink like a Virgo this season, with 6 beverages to inspire getting your sh*t together.
Beer: Doppelbock
Are Brooklyn-based, husband and wife brewing combo Joe and Lauren Grimm Virgos? Unclear, but I wouldn’t be surprised. It would take some Virgo-level spreadsheeting to churn out the sheer number of instantly beloved, artisanal beers that they have produced since 2013, and especially while mostly doing it nomadically. (They established a permanent spot in 2018.) Grimm’s Prognosticator is a German-style Doppelbock beer, rich and malty and perfect for the advent of fall, which comes just at the end of Virgo season. Plus, “prognosticator” refers to someone who foretells a future event, which Virgos can do because whatever the event, it was no mystery that it happened. They absolutely got their sh*t together to make it happen.
Wine: L’Ecole Syrah
Virgos know what’s good, and they’re not afraid to spend money on something that’s of a top-notch quality, but they are also practical beings that know that top-notch quality doesn’t have to come with a hefty price tag. Enter the wines of Washington State with their incredible variety, commitment to quality, and consumer-friendly price point. Also very Virgo? A winery named for the old schoolhouse it occupies—L’Ecole No. 41—since Virgos are basically the human embodiment of back-to-school season, which handily coincides with Virgo season.
Spirit: Rye Whiskey
Rye, America’s unsung hero of the whiskey category, is the perfect Virgo spirit, not only because September is when we start considering drinking brown spirits again, but also because it provides so much opportunity for schooling other people on its merits. Arguably, rye is the quintessential American whiskey, with a production that dwarfed corn-based bourbon or barley-based expressions prior to Prohibition. Did I just say arguably? That’s Virgo energy at work. Frey Ranch’s Straight Rye Whiskey also employs 100% rye as its mash bill, for an extra spicy expression, which is a very Virgo thing to do.
Non-Alcoholic: Matcha
Matcha in its traditional form is something that requires great care and ceremony in its preparation. Did someone call for details? Virgo is sure to be on the scene, whipping you up the best matcha of your life replete with the requisite storytelling about its history and culture. Did you know that with its fully ingestible leaf structure, matcha is among the most caffeinated of beverages? You’re welcome! If you don’t have time for Virgo-level matcha prep, try Taika’s adaptogenic and award-winning canned Matcha Latte for easy access, and enough caffeine to get you thinking or doing at a proper, Virgo pace.
Ready-to-Drink: Amass Hard Seltzer
Nothing so basic as a typical hard seltzer would do for Virgos’ highly intellectual sensibilities, but Amass Hard Seltzer is anything but. Their master distiller is a botany expert, which Virgos can definitely dig on, who brings various botanicals together for a lineup of easy-drinking, yet sophisticated, thinking-persons’ seltzers.
Cocktail: Old Fashioned
Virgos aren’t necessarily the most Old Fashioned people in the Zodiac, though they can be, but it’s more the tried-and-true nature of the Old Fashioned that is appealing, coupled with its deceptively simple preparation. It’s only 3 ingredients, but without a Virgo-level attention to detail, it can be made badly. Plus, here’s another opportunity for Virgo’s to exhibit a little know-it-all exhibition: it’s supposed to be made with rye, not bourbon, as in this classic recipe from Inspired Taste.